Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
