I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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