i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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