I am puke
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
