dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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