So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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