grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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