I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you inspire me to be a worse person
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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