the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
