but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
