My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
