Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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