No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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