jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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