I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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