is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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