Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
