did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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