He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize