I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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