I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize