batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
