Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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