Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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