I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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