i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
