Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
