That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
