man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
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