haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
