It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize