I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
