Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
4 words: hood of his car
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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