I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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