i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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