there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
