Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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