im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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