Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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