Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
