Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
