Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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