I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I wanna passion pit in your ass
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
