just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I didn't notice because vodka
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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