I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
