I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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