i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize