there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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