No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
