Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
