Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
