Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
we're making bets on your personal life
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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