She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
