I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
