is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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