...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
God I need to hump something, right now.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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