i just wanna soil my oats bro
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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