Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
COCAINE IS GR8
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
