i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
