I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
