we have pet lesbian snakes
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
