I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
