Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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