Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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