The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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