Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
