my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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